Thursday, 20 December 2007

Absolute Agnosticism

Despite the header of this blog, which proclaims that I am an Opinionated Integral Pagan, I have to own the fact that when it comes to absolute knowledge, I in fact have very little.

I stood (you guessed it) on the smokers' balcony this morning and considered this question: what is it that I really do know?

I have absolute and irrevocable knowledge of just one thing - my own consciousness.

Leaving aside the huge question of just what that is, I realise that there are very few other things I do or can know.

I know that I am aware.
I also have direct experience of one or two things, although the issue of exactly how they hook in to my consciousness remains mostly open:

I know that at least one non-human entity has communicated with me in such a way as to make it very clear that I was being handed information that was outside of my reach at that particular time and place.

I know that synchronicity of events ("coincidences") have been attendant upon my interaction with at least one other non-human entity.

I know that at least once, a human entity reached me with information that was, as above, outside of my knowledge at that particular space and time.

I know that I receive a tremendous feeling of well-being; a cherished, loved emotion, which appears to emanate from the very ground that I have worked ritual and magic upon.

Now, any metaphysical naturalist will be quick to point out the possibility of hallucination, self-delusion and good old coincidence in the above examples.

But, with the greatest respect to materialist Atheists, in whose company I counted myself not too long ago, they are not sitting where I am - in the midst of my unprovable (to them) but nevertheless iron-clad conviction of my own Being.

Knowing what I know, unable to offer proof to any other enquiring mind - not even being sure, when push comes to shove, that those enquiring minds do in fact exist outside of my sphere of certainty, I can open my arms to the possibility of a huge and almost overwhelming agnosticism in perfect calm. Almost galvanised by the possibilities which open up before me.

So many paths to explore, so many questions to gnaw at.Yes, it makes me happy not to have too many definite answers.

But yes - from where I'm sitting, I'm most certainly Deity, by a perfectly circular definition of Deity.

It's all I can be sure of, and it's enough.