Saturday, 13 October 2012

Strange and Compelling Lesson


I seem to always have trouble with the concept of evil. I'm known for throwing epithets around like murderous, sick and disturbed, not to mention stupid when it comes to describing the actions of many of us in this..well..stupid,murderous,sick,disturbed culture. But the real heart-stopping face of evil I believe I have yet to see.

Now, having thoroughly neglected my daily sitting practise for some weeks, I should not have been surprised when a combination of stress and the strange weather we've been having - a week of heat wave followed by chilly, rainy days - caused me to come down with a virus. On a Saturday.

I spent most of the day sleeping and entertaining nightmares of the most vivid form, only getting up to hang the washing and pay the TV dish re-alignment man (we lost our TV signal last weekend when the Internet connection was fixed.So it goes, and not a great loss, but for Warren's horsies). At sunset, feeling a little better, I headed for the Hecate altar, lit the oil burner under some Neroli oil, and settled in.

The panorama of eyes, faces and swirling star fields which I have become accustomed to, more or less, over the last decade or so started playing across my inner vision. I centred myself and checked on the health of my major chakras before opening my eyes and staring into the black mirror, supporting an icon of the Lady, which backs the altar.

I was quite surprised - although not disturbed - to see a large black shape behind me in the mirror. It had fairly well-defined edges and didn't appear to move as I turned my head slightly from side to side. It was puzzling. As I sat there, trying to figure out what it was, an idle thought crossed my still-quiet mind: was this some form of entity, an (evil) presence? I felt nothing like fear. But maybe that's what an (evil) entity would want me to feel - calm.

As the last of the sunlight disappeared from the room, I suddenly made sense of what I was seeing.
It was me. Or rather, the reflection of something I had clothed myself in - a dark t shirt.

My own covering artifice had caused me to wonder - briefly - if I was at last beholding the face of monstrous evil.

What a strange and compelling lesson that was.