Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Strange Birds

In the last day* of Sun in Scorpio for this year, with the moon also in this sign, I stand on the wet and drizzly balcony and wonder: if I took a test for Borderline Disorder right this moment, and answered from my deepest sense of truth, would I be diagnosed as mentally ill?

No, I've never had this diagnosis made upon me - not even close. But it seems more and more as if I've come to the crossroads now where I clearly see the way forward which aligns with what I know about existence - that's life and death together in equal amounts, carrying equal weight of force - will eventually divorce me from human culture.

So many things we acknowledge as good and true and right in this human incarnation rely on the drawing of boundaries. Between this and that. Between good and bad. Between personal integrity and violation of it.
But I'm growing to understand the ephemeral qualities of these boundaries. The liminal places themselves are disappearing as states of being merge one into another, without seam, without edge.

Insane? Probably, from a human cultural point of view. But I remember that culture is not your friend and I am somewhat comforted by it - especially since the words friend, your and is are slowly losing their meaning in the place where I truly live.

One day your eggs are going to hatch and some very strange birds are going to emerge.

* seems the Sun is already out of Scorpio, technically. Also, here comes another Mercury Retrograde. Hold onto your hats.