Monday, 10 January 2011
It often falls to our nearest and dearest to tell us painful truths - and, having a partner not overly blessed with tact, I guess I can expect to get my feelings hurt now and again.
In actuality, my feelings rarely get hurt. But this evening, when Warren noted that I don't like anyone, I was quite stung.
But he's right, or close to right. I don't have a circle of friends, or even a circle of family, with whom I can pass a pleasant social hour over tea and biscuits. I get, in my opinion, more than enough social exposure at my place of work. Ask me over for drinks on New Year's Eve, and, apart from the fact that I don't drink, you can expect to see me leave -not in a bad mood, but just say my good nights - after a bare couple of hours. Certainly, I'll do lunch and contribute to the conversation with no pain - but I won't go out of my way for it.
In effect, Warren is quite right - I don't like people. I criticise humans abundantly and see the unconsciousness of their acceptance of the culture as a bad, bad flaw. Why, I can even harangue and rant. Frequently.
But what I do feel for human people - and that includes those whose deadly enemy I am in this life - is Love.
I am a Shaman - disintegrated and reconstituted as is necessary for this calling - and I will intercede with the Ancestors for any. I will cast energies into the Ground of Being for the humans I so despise, and -gods help you - I will walk with you to, and through, the gates of the netherworld itself. This is as it has always been, and will continue to be, even after I have passed beyond those gates myself.
For I Love you. All. And that's a very different kettle of fish to liking. So you're just going to have to put up with my Shamanic aloofness and overt dislike. For the nonce.
Pic: painting by E W Ringstaff
Oh, and look - here's the Moon and Jupiter in in the West, tonight: