I dreamed that I was singing.
In real life, although I have an acute ear for a wrong note, I cannot sing to save my life. Maybe this is why, every few years, I have a dream in which I am singing a wordless song of great beauty. A song which seems to heal everything around me. A song which is still sounding when I awake.
I have a very strong intuition that I'm not long for this incarnation. A few years, perhaps - maybe less. It's not in the least dismaying - I just seem to know that my body is going to break at some point in the near future.
I don't feel any need to go to the culture's technical medicine men to get it fixed, either. I have run my race and have no family left to consider. My son I count as lost to me, and this is probably the best thing for him.
What struck me about my own attitude as compared to most incarnate humans around me is not just the lack of fear I have in facing off with death compared to others, but the absolute joy with which I am ready to embrace this dissolution.
The salts and fluids of this body to return to the Earth; the consciousness to turn at ninety degrees to everything else.
Grok Earth - pray without ceasing as the illuminated Sarah says. Even as you die, grok Earth and let the gentle rain and worms grok you.
There is no fear in letting go - my Lady has strong arms to catch me as I fall, once again, into Her embrace. Just as I held briefly to my mother when I was born into this world, so may I rest myself on Her rough and earthen skin when the time comes once again to free the God who was temporarily held captive within these walls of flesh.
My dear Aquila Ka Hecate. Are you taking a shamanistic voyage of dissolution? If so, may you be returned to those of use who read your work with renewed vitality.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts run similar to what Rhondda said. Thou art shaman. Thank you for your words.
ReplyDeleteRhondda and Ed,
ReplyDeleteI don't know too many details yet,only the shape of it.
I think that in a couple of weeks I'll be able to speak more intimately with my ancestors at Samhain and may have clarity on this point.
And then again, maybe not.
This entire Life is full of laughter!
Love,
Terri in Joburg
Your calm passes through your words ... *smile*
ReplyDeleteHave a WONDERFUL day!
peace
Terri I don't know -- you have such gifts and to me there seems so much more to come. And I don't want to lose you.
ReplyDeleteAnd my heart aches when you write about your son.
xxMary
I just noticed I used the word 'use' when I meant the word 'us'. A Freudian slip? I did mean the word 'us', but on second thought your work is very 'useful' to me and sometimes when someone is so brave to put it out there, it is so useful. I don't want to imply that I use you. It is more that you give alot. Thanks. Rhondda.
ReplyDeleteTerri,
ReplyDeleteKnow that you are cherished and admire, and that you would me missed and remembered quite fondly!
Peace,
Pax
I want to know more about your son. I want you to stay incarnate a good bit longer. These are but my desires.
ReplyDeleteI have not yet worked out what my symbols mean to me, but there is just an overwhelming sense of "more" when I think of you.
ReplyDeleteAnd, everything is as it should be.
"Hamba kahle", always, Terri.
Hugs.
I have not yet worked out what my symbols mean to me, but there is just an overwhelming sense of "more" when I think of you.
ReplyDeleteAnd, everything is as it should be.
"Hamba kahle", always, Terri.
Hugs.
Well I don't know. Just a few days a friend said similar things. I don't know-I am just getting used to being seen as deadwood at work-I just don't know.
ReplyDeleteI love your words and thoughts on life and cats.