So I've been surrounded, for the first two weeks of 2009, with female colleagues reacting with anger, bravery and floods of tears to the way they have been treated by their male partners - husbands and lovers.
I admit that my immediate reaction is always fury in defence of the female, although not knowing both sides of the story, I don't see how that's exactly fair-minded of me. However, it's been my experience that a little deeper knowledge of the domestic situation almost always results in the true picture of the woman being the victim, in so many ways, emerging.
I admit that my immediate reaction is always fury in defence of the female, although not knowing both sides of the story, I don't see how that's exactly fair-minded of me. However, it's been my experience that a little deeper knowledge of the domestic situation almost always results in the true picture of the woman being the victim, in so many ways, emerging.
I've also been known to let go with some very biased statements in the heat of my anger, such as the perennial men are the scum of the Earth, which again is not defensible, as I could hit half a dozen good and beautiful males from here, on my sidebar alone.
The correct epithet would be this
For, as I've mused over before,men are as much damaged by this culture as are women-if not more, in some cases.
It's fairly on the surface here in Africa. In every sub culture here we have a fine tradition of treating our boy children like little princes, whose every whim women (from age 6 months to 106 years) must strive to cater for.
But really, we have the unspoken assumptions of the last 6000 years to thank for it. Hierarchical societies, shaped like a pyramid instead of a web; success measured by power-over rather than cooperation; the idea that man must at all costs subdue, dominate and control the natural world - it's pretty obvious after a bit of thought.
It's also damned scary.
We've gotten so that most of us have forgotten what it's like to be in a cooperative relationship with the Earth. We can no longer hear the land when she speaks to us. And speak She does, most eloquently, if we just care to attend to our paleolithic hearing again.
I would urge each of you - whether you be blessed in a rural setting, or trapped in concrete and steel - to bend the ears of your soul once more to what She has to say.
It will surprise and delight you, and you'll find yourself wanting to hone your listening and speaking skills once more, as a part of the great making-and-shaping, all together, of natural, cyclical and proper Living.
Pic:Dancing Horses
I will be the very first to agree that our male-dominated societies are at best suicidal constructs, and that matriarchical societies offer a much kinder, gentler way, but I have experienced to many instances of women bahaving BADLY to accept every cry of foul against a husband or lover simply on the basis that women are always the victim. As genders, we BOTH must examine our behaviors and strive to be better as HUMANS, more so than men or women.
ReplyDeleteA very good friend of mine attempted suicide after having paid for a boob-job for his wife who promptly left him for another man. There are plenty of more factors involved in this mess, but it points out the necessity to judge PEOPLE on their actions and not always as Male/Oppressor vs Female/Victim.
But, yes, as a man I know we can be pigs. Me, I aspire to be the better variety.
I like the web vs pyramid, very graphic illustration ....
ReplyDeleteLike the 6000 year old society, we have been closing out those voices ... the earth and others, the softer sounds for even longer.
You need time, quiet time to change your rythms, space to open yourself. That same society has worked to deny people these things.
(my wife has hit me a few times, usually with something in her hand, nuff said *wink*)